HASEENA CHAMKEELI KA PHONE NUMBER ;)

After twenty minutes of trying to write something sensible , like something which expresses my concern over HIV infected kids in Rwanda , or something which tries to tell the world that we must save the blue whales before they are all dead , I decided that there are enough pillars of the society to do that , and I also decided that I am hungry .

So now as I munch on a pack of Hide and Seek, I think I will just talk whatever I want to even if it makes me look as intelligent as Sameera Reddy and leaves you sick in the stomach.

* I hate my friends' bf /gfs ..I know this will draw me flak but still I do.chal,just to save myself from being killed I would like to add 'i dont exactly hate them' ..arrey yaar abhi nahi marna mujhe. Abhi toh shaadi bhi nahi hui meri..=p
And no.no......not due to any 'i m jealous' reasons which your evil,devilish mind might be thinking of..!!
But coz after every small trifle or big one its we- FRIENDS , who have to deal with all the tears , all the depressing, monotonous ramblings - 'u know he used to love me sooo much' , 'u know he messages me no more ' x(
I am left with an expressionless face which partly depicts I understand and partly shows 'i ll KILL that IDIOT' for the un-ending, almost always same lines that I am listening to right now..!!!
And then comes the bouncer question "U THINK HE STILL LOVES ME???"
"Well..I think he does..Come on ..Dont waste your time on that a** hole..He z just not your type..!
let the idiot realise how amazing you were and all the wrong he has done to you. Dont message or reply to him ever again..!!"
With these seemingly-inspiring lines my newly 'Abla Nari' transformed to 'phoolan devi' friend opts for this NO-CONTACT RULE..!!
Wow..It was so easy to get rid of him..kitni maahhhaan hu main..mujhe toh kisi newspaper mein AGONY AUNT hona chaiye tha.(mind you it will only lead to considerable rise in breakups and divorces).=D
Just to tell you that this NO-CONTACT RULE has been quite successful in my case .So I suggest it to all of my friends.Its a tested and proven way to get rid of your bf/gf as soon as possible..For furthur details you can surely contact me..HAPPY TO HELP =p
But as I am single (khush hojao saare.I know u r smiling..TAALIYAN..waise RAHUL GANDHI bhi single hai..yesss..He is also on my crush list ;) , so I can only advise it to all my friends .
Acha toh kahan thi main??? yaar ek toh tum log itni bakar bakar karte ho that I completely forget what I was talking about..huh..!!
Haan toh my dear googly-woogly friend will quite contrastingly to my fourrr hour longggggggg
counselling will message or even better call her bf(or maybe soon-to-be-ex yippppeee) the very next day..!!
SO Is she back with him once again.??.Thats a mystery even I need to solve..TOUGHER THAN SUDOKU(I tried playing it but its just soo damn boring coz i couldnt solve even one puzzle) !!
ALL PAINS AND ABSOLUTELY NO GAIN..life an be so tough sometimes..!!

* This is about my mortal fear of lizards!
I just can’t stand *or even sit or lie* them!
No matter if it was my board paper the next day, I used to waste a complete hour in just looking by how many centimetres the wriggly character had budged! And if it won’t, I would scream at the top of my lungs for someone to enter the portals of my room and ‘shoo’ it out of the door! If I had to kiss a frog to turn him into Prince Charming, I could do so...but were it to be replaced by a lizzy, I’d rather never be kissed at all!

* Currently ,I m being bugged by some unknown person on my cell..That idiot isnt even telling me his name(as I am assuming a guy to be bugging me ..hehe..;) .How I wish its 'karan singh grover' OR 'karan kundra' or even better 'rahul gandhi' =p ) .He keeps messaging me ' aan aan aan' .I just cant decipher this code which he unfortunately expects me to , because I can barely understand anything until it is told to me absolutely clearly.! =p
Btw even I am not much behind in these blank calls thingie..Aapki iss nacheez dost ne bhi thode-bahut pange kiye hue hain..How I remember I with my friends used to call-up all the cute guys of my school ..I better not tell you their reactions..Chal if u all are insisting..One guy complained this to his mommy(huh..mama's boy) and the next day his mom was at my house (all thanks to my intelligent brain that I had called him from my own landline number..Nahi ji mobile nhi tha mere paas tab.toh kya hogya?.)
Innocent hone ki kya jabardassst acting ki thi maine..I would have put Barbara Mori to shame..subhaan allah..!!
.Kya din the woh..oohhoo..senti na ho kake..!!

* In other news , the probability of my cousin bro getting engaged is at its raging mad peak now . Woh kisi bhee waqt paraya credit card ban sakta hai . So I once again appeal to all the ladies who have been secretly admiring him from behind pillars , ghoonghats , bushes , trees and other places of hiding , to please step out and declare your undying love towards his bank balance , C grade and misunderstood brand of humor , and now , newly developed husband-ish skill of cleaning rooms. He personally believes that he is one of the last remaining specimen of Men who have that finely balanced personality mix of Akshay Kumar , George Clooney and Guddu Rangeela . What , Guddu Rangeela who ? Arre bhai , Guddu . Apna Guddu ! The famous Bhojpuri Actor who just demonstrated his skills in the smash hit bhojpuri flick , Daroga Babu Bade Kadak . I think he dances exactly like him.
P.S - Now if you are wondering how do I know about GUDDU RANGEELA, then stop using your brains coz it was just a matter of chance that some bhojpuri channel laggya tha on T.V and the damn remote stopped working and as you know "ab uthke channel change karne kaun jayega yarrrr.".!!!

Anyway , coming back to the appeal for my cousin bro , you need to act now , LADIES . Guys , if you are adequately rich , you can push in an application too .=p

* Dad recently bought a Nokia Business Phone . While I am yet to explore it’s multiple features which , Nokia claim , include everything except a Juice Maker and a Nuclear Missile Launch Button , one of its features is that the phone says out the name of the caller . And that’s a pretty interesting thing ...!!

*
Also , I watched ‘Race’ recently.(Yeah.dont look at me wide-eyed ..maine ab jaake dekhi hai.itni busy hoti hun yarr..time hi kahan milta hai.hehe) .It’s a movie where everybody is evil with a head bubbling with deadly plans , everybody is in bed with somebody , and everybody is driving an exotic car .But the movie left me with a very disturbing message – “You wanna be a winner ? Please kill those morals first” . I mean , if I would have watched that movie when I was six , I would have grown up thinking that being truthful is an insult . Not that I am a Harishchandra-2 , but the people in the flick do not even try. Of course , there is one another image from the movie which will not leave me till I breathe my last – That of a topless Akshaye Khanna standing chest facing towards the camera . At least three XL sized sweaters could have been knitted out of the hair on his chest, I swear. Add Anil Kapoor to that , and you have the raw material for the complete winter collection of Rohit ‘Bal’ .=p

PS – HASEENA CHAMKILI KA PHONE NUMBER-BLOG POST TITLE ka koi sense nahi hai . logic mat doondhO . I knew it that aisa TITLE dekh kar u ll pakka read this entire post..Sudhar jao yar . Umar ka to lihaaz karo apni .hehe :p

Anyway , I need to go now .. I know this is not a coherent end . But oye , I am not a writer yaar..:):)